President Spencer W. Kimball said, “The hour has come for understanding hearts, for self-appraisal, and for good common sense. Two people coming from different backgrounds learn soon after the happy-go-lucky feelings after the wedding day, that reality will finally sink in. It is not a fantasy that you will be living happily ever after; it will be a realistic eternity. Filled with sacrifices, growing experiences, sad and even heartbreaking times, but through all of these, you will be able to grow more in your love together. It will help both husband and wife be able to get through anything together, as long as you have each other and can feel of the eternal love you share.”
Now, here is what I like to call my Formula for a happy marriage!
Formula for a happy marriage:
· Remember the central importance of your marriage
· Pray for its success
· Always listen. No matter what.
· Avoid “ceaseless pinpricking or stonewalling”
· Keep your courtship alive
· Be quick to say, “I’m sorry”
· Be a true partner in crime, especially in home and family responsibilities
· Serve one another and others to grow in unity and love
The second summary is how we can apply these ideas given specifically in Marriage, for an overall improvement in quality and satisfaction.
· Criticism is one of the hardest things to live with in many relationships.
It is a real problem. Don’t be demanding to the one you love, your spouse and
partner.
· There is a saying: “For every minute you are angry, you loose sixty seconds of
happiness.” The real importance is ceasing from anger and striving for happiness.
· Talking it out and using good communication skills to get through any situation
in a nice healthy way promotes mutual understanding.
· Turning to the Lord is next. Elder Robert E. Wells said, “Wisdom suggests that
prayer is an important part of your marriage.”
We must seek the Lord’s help in helping each other, resolving challenges,
and in reaching appropriate decisions. It must all be without defense and with Heavenly
Father guiding you along. The most important thing the Lord can do to help
individuals is to seek his help in changing our behavior and hearts.
· Then in your relationship with your spouse, you will be able to be more unified
in love and understanding, while always uplifting one another. It is the most pure
and divine love you can give to your husband or wife. You can make it, as long
you are both striving every day to live your lives to fullest, becoming better than
you were the day before.
In the Ensign there is an Article titled, The Grapefruit Syndrome,
and Lola Walters learned as a young wife, that the taste of marriage could
be a whole lot sweeter if she didn’t focus on her husbands faults.
And here is her story. (Read Ensign article here)
Elder John A. Widtsoe proclaimed, “The true love of man for woman always
includes love of God, from whom all good things issue.” Without strong
commitment to the Lord, an individual is more prone to have a low level of
commitment to a spouse. Eternal covenants can then lead to loss of eternal
consequences. Love means being sensitive to your spouses’ feelings and needs.
You need to give each other the opportunity to grow intellectually, emotionally,
socially, as well as spiritually. It is about being kind and always being there for
each other. But most importantly, striving for peace above all else.
In closing I would like to end with a quote that I found which impacted me
personally as I was preparing to marry my sweet Jason.
And it reads,
“Success in a marriage is much more than finding the right person, it is a matter
of being the right person.” I continue to try and live by this truth, remembering
that the solutions to life’s problems are always gospel solutions. I need
to have love and understanding for the one I truly and eternally love forever.
Our love of God influences our ability to love each other more fully. As we
continue to develop this it will become a part of us inside and it will be
able to glow in our demeanor and countenance. Others will be able to see
how our love serves the sole purpose of lifting up, not tearing down. These are
the ways that my marriage will last for eternity. Love hopes and prays for a
an endless commitment and a continuation for a true companionship not
only with our spouses, but also with our Heavenly Father.
I am so thankful and indeed blessed for the love I share with my sweet husband.
It is an honor and blessing that I have him by my side for eternity. And while
there are times when I fall short of my divine responsibility, I am always able to feel
of his enduring love and soft spirit touching my heart. He is constantly giving all
the love he can, not only to me but to those around him as well. Our Heavenly
Father is in the center of all we do. And I know that through his guidance and
love all things are made possible with his plan. Heavenly Father has placed
certain trials and hardships before us, but he doesn’t let us get through them
alone. His loves brings a sense of peace and an endless happiness into our own
lives and it fills my heart with gratitude.
I am indeed blessed for my little family of three. And especially to know that I can
have the blessings of eternity based upon my faithfulness and obedience as a wife
and mother.
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