Application: Parenting

            Growing up, in my later teen life I was quite a handful I’ll be honest! Since my parents divorced when I was ten years old, I went back and forth for routine visits between my mom’s house and dad’s house. That was quite a challenge since my dad lived 30 minutes away from my mom. Once I was older, at about the age 13, I remember I stopped visiting routinely because my life consisted where my mom lived. That is where I grew up. Where my dad moved to had nothing to do with my day to day life. I remember that made my father quite sad. Now, I can see where he is coming from since I am now a parent myself. He wanted me to come for weekly visits but I had early morning seminary, piano lessons, school duties, and I worked. Did I really make the time? Probably not, but  the times I did see him I would always learn something from him. My life at that time was very busy. I would always feel his like I let him down and I did not like that deep down, but I had to keep doing my duties and responsibilities. I was completely aware of what he was doing. In my opinion, I learned the form of parenting technique I wanted to use. I know that both my mother and father did all that they could for me, even through the divorce and afterwards. I look back on those times and see all the growth that my family had and my parents grew in their parenting forms as well.

            The first incident I can think of actually happened once I was married. This incident took place with my father, and it was surprisingly a positive one. Note: (I’m not going to share all the information from this incident just because it is personal to my husband and I, but it does pertain well to this assignment). Through all the negative and hard things that have happened with my father this particular time was the most profound of all. My husband and I were struggling with some personal things as a couple and it was starting to take a toll on our marriage and on our relationship as a couple. Now the issue doesn't really matter here it is the underlying message that does. One day I received a phone call out the blue from my dad and we just got to talking and he started giving me advice and it was pertaining to this issue my husband and I were going through. The odd thing was that I didn’t even mention the issue to my dad in our conversation. This was a testimony to me that my father does live up to fulfilling his divine role, even when it’s hard for me to see it at times, it's in the moments like this one which help me feel of my fathers love. He does know how to be a father to me and somehow he recognized and responded to a need that I had. And it was probably from the Holy Spirit telling him what to say to me in that moment as my father. It is a time that I will never forget, but remember when I feel my dad doesn’t live up to his role because, in the end he does, especially when times are most crucial.

            The second incident took place with my mother. This one also happened when my husband and I were already married. More recently my mom has really changed how she is as a parent. I don’t know what entirely brought this on all of a sudden, but it is definitely a positive change for the better. Growing up she gave a lot of tough love. That is actually a good tool to use when it comes to parenting in my opinion. But sometimes the ways in which she handled certain situations made things a bit more difficult. It was after the divorce though when it made it harder for her to be a parent. Our family has just been through so much trial and heartache that it was piling on top of her. When she would get stressed out it would come out on me, first, because I am the oldest child and had all of these high expectations. But, now something has happened to my mother that has had a profound impact on me as her daughter. It is without a doubt strengthening our relationship as a result. There have been so many countless times where I was receiving advice from her on what to do, and how to handle that situation if it ever presented itself. I remember a time when I was down, or something was troubling me, and I thought to myself, "Man, I wish I had my mom to talk to." Literally, split seconds later I received a phone call from her. I know that the Holy Ghost is with her helping her to know how to respond to the needs of her children, otherwise she would not have received that prompting. Her encouragement was what I needed most, and is what I continue to need and I am getting that from my mom on the way in which she is being a parent. I am blessed to have both of my parents and for the continued lessons I am able to learn from them throughout the different stages of my life. I truly do not know what I would do without having their loving examples to lean on when times are hard. Even if the situation is not as perfect, they each have something to offer me. Their parenting techniques are what keep my family connected. Even though they are divorced, somehow there is a spiritual connection binding our family ties.